


Confessions At Dawn

by bkwrm523



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Claustrophobia, F/M, Reader has a panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 13:47:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14214453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bkwrm523/pseuds/bkwrm523
Summary: Anonymous request for fluffy smutty Castiel/reader based on Make You Feel My Love by Adele.





	Confessions At Dawn

You returned home after running errands to find the house suspiciously silent.  Your parents were away for a few days, again, leaving you home alone with your older brother.  The same older brother who liked pranks way too much.  You called his name as you cautiously entered the house.  Hopefully, it’d be something small and stupid like dumping oil all over your clothes and ruining them.  You could afford another pair of jeans if you needed to.  You didn’t think you had the strength for some of his more intense pranks today.

The kitchen was totally dark.  The sky was overcast enough that the one small window in the room was of no help.  You tried the light switch on the wall, but nothing happened.  You called your brother’s name again, but still nothing.  You turned a corner, deciding to go for the flashlights.

You never made it.

Someone grabbed you from behind, a hand covering your mouth to stifle your scream.  You tried to bite the hand, but whoever it was had carefully angled their grip to make that impossible.  You were flung around, the room spinning around you, and thrown to ground.  You felt hard, fabric-covered surfaces on either side, and a soft mattress-type padding softening your fall.  A heavy bang came from above you, and you were trapped.

In a coffin.

You’re claustrophobic.  And your brother knew.

Fear clutched at your lungs, and you started panting.  You pushed at the lid of the coffin, trying to stay calm and hold onto sense.  But it didn’t move.  Your brother must have put some sort of weight on the lid, keeping you from opening it.  You called your brother’s name again in a shaky voice.

“V-very funny, now let me out.  P-please?”  You pleaded, terror audible in your voice.  All you heard was laughter and a door slamming.  Then, nothing.

You lost track of time after that.  You remembered pounding on the lid and screaming, you didn’t know for how long.  Your fingers got scratched and bloody.  Your voice got hoarse.  Was this thing airtight?  Could you suffocate?

Some time later, you thought you heard the doorbell ring.  You redoubled your efforts, pounding at the lid of the coffin and forcing your tired, painful throat to scream for help again.  There were a few thumps, and the sound of wood cracking; someone was forcing the door.

That was how you had first met Sam and Dean.  They’d been tracking a monster, and came to your house on a lead.  They’d pulled you out of the coffin, staying to help you through the panic attack and calmed you down.  It had turned out that your brother was possessed by a demon.  He’d already killed your parents, and Sam and Dean had had to kill him.  That was how you became a hunter.

In your nightmares, however, you didn’t get rescued.  In your nightmares, your brother and your parents came back to leave you in there and taunt you.

“Wake up.  It’s just a nightmare.  You’re dreaming, y/n.  Wake up!”

You awoke to stare into a pair of worried blue eyes.

“You’re in the bunker.”  Castiel said, his voice carefully calm.  He was sitting on your bed next to you, holding your shoulders gently.  “You’re alone.  Sam and Dean are out on a hunt.  You’re safe.  It’s all right.”

You were staring at him uncomprehendingly, his words slowly sinking through the terror that had seized you, but it was too late. You were fully engulfed in a panic attack. Castiel looked so worried for you. He lifted you easily and pulled you into his lap, murmuring soothingly in your ear until you started to calm down. Your eyes were glassy, and your hands automatically gripped his trenchcoat. Slowly, his vessel’s body heat enveloped you and your shaking slowly ceased.

“You need to slow your breathing down.”  Castiel told you, keeping his voice quiet and calm.  “You’re going to pass out.  Can you slow down, please?”  You obeyed without thinking, feeling the rise and fall of his chest and you tried to match your own breathing to his.  Castiel held you, blue eyes boring into yours, and stroked your back gently until the haze cleared from your eyes, and your muscles relaxed.  You sighed, and melted into him.

You had the biggest crush on the blue-eyed angel, and it was totally unrequited.  Normally, you’d be hopelessly nervous and awkward about your current position.  The recovery from the panic attack you’d had, however, meant that you couldn’t bring yourself to care much.  You only felt wrung out and exhausted.  For once, you threw your nerves to the wind and cuddled into the warmth that Castiel offered gratefully.

“Thank you.”  You croaked finally.  Your voice was a little hoarse; had you been screaming in your sleep?

“It was nothing.”  Castiel murmured.  “I always try to watch over you when you sleep.”

Sam or Dean probably would have found that creepy.  You just smiled.  “Thanks, Castiel.”  You told him, touched that he cared.

“I just wish I could do the same for you,” you continued, growing drowsy enough that you didn’t think to stop the words from coming out until too late.

“What do you mean?”  Castiel asked; you looked up at him to see a confused frown on his face and the famous head tilt you thought you’d seen the last of years ago.  “You help me all the time.”

“Not enough.”  You replied.   _Yep, might as well get it all out_.  “I hate watching you get hurt.”

“You are a very compassionate person.”  Castiel replied, and you could hear the smile in his voice.  “I am lucky to have you as a friend.  You give yourself far too little credit.”  You didn’t reply verbally, but a snort made its way out despite your efforts to muffle it.  Castiel’s hand grasped your chin gently, and lifted your face up to meet his eyes.  Your breath caught; he was so close to you, you could feel his breath on your face.  His blue eyes bored into yours, sincere and firm and… wistful?   You had to be hallucinating the longing in his gaze; the by-products of your panic attack…and wishful thinking.

Right?

Castiel cleared his throat before his spoke; taking a minute before he got the words out, and sounding slightly breathless when he did. “You are important to us. Just because you don’t attend the hunts does not mean that you aren’t important. Your assistance and your contributions are very valuable. You’ve saved all of us many times. No one thinks less of you for not wanting to go on the hunts. It’s a very frightening occupation, and it is very normal to feel that way.” Castiel spoke earnestly, but you already knew he would never lie to you; especially not about something like this. A small smile formed on your face and Castiel returned it; comforted.

“Cas,” you began.  “That’s not why I don’t go on hunts.”  A confused frown crossed Castiel’s face at your patient explanation, impossible for you to miss as he still held your face so close to his.  “I’m claustrophobic.  It makes me a liability.  If I went out with you guys on a hunt, sooner or later I’d just get myself  _and_ you guys killed.  Everyone’s safer if I just stay home.”  You muttered the last part and glanced away, no longer able to endure the sad empathy in the blue eyes staring into yours.

“You’re not giving yourself enough credit.”  Castiel sighed after a moment’s pause.  “You are very brave, and this is not a weakness.”  Castiel said your name sternly, drawing your eyes back up to his.  “Do not be ashamed of your fear.  Admitting and recognizing your phobia is the first step to overcoming it; if anyone can do that, it’s you.”  You swallowed, your eyes wide and your breath coming a little faster.  He was so close, and so  _open_ to you.  It was impossible to doubt him.

“Thank you.”  You said in a small voice.  One corner of Castiel’s mouth quirked up in a smile, and his eyes dropped to your lips.  You were struck then by how close your lips were to his.  You swiped your tongue across your bottom lip, earning the tiniest groan come from Castiel.

“Y/n?”  Castiel’s voice broke the silence, his eyes flitting back up to yours with a tense, nervous expression.

“Yes?”  You tried to sound neutral, but you couldn’t squash down the hope rising in you at what he might be about to say.  Or ask.  Whatever.

“I love you.”  Castiel blurted out, and your heart squeezed.  “I understand if you do not feel the same way; I still wish to be friends if you-” you couldn’t stand to let this near train wreck continue.  You buried one hand in his hair, cradling the back of his skull, and yanked his face down to yours; kissing him with all the passion you felt for this celestial being.

 _Castiel_ , you thought-prayed to him as your tongue pushed gently against his lips.   _I love you, too_.

Castiel groaned again, much louder this time, and his worrying stillness suddenly ceased.  He tightened the arm around your back, pulling you closer into him as the other lifted to bury in your hair, holding your head steady.  His mouth opened, soft lips and warm tongue ravaging yours.  Your hand between you and Castiel was trapped as he pulled you closer, and grabbed at his tie in a tightly clenched fist in an attempt to ground yourself.  Your other hand dropped to his shoulder, clenching tight and moaning into his mouth.  He tasted, well, like heaven.  Cliche as it was.

“Cas,” his name dropped from your mouth instinctively when he broke the kiss.  Castiel’s blue eyes fixed on yours, a world of love in them, and he murmured your name.  You lifted the hand on his shoulder to cup his cheek.  Castiel eagerly leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttering briefly shut.  You smiled and stroked his cheek with your thumb, delighting in the happy noises that emerged from him.  He was so like a puppy sometimes, it was utterly adorable.

“I don’t have a great deal of experience with intercourse.”  Castiel mumbled, breaking the silence.  You pulled back to look at him curiously, his face dropping and getting a disappointed look that broke your heart.  “I can’t give you what you deserve.”

“Baby,” you breathed,  _needing_ to comfort him and wipe the sad look off his face.  “I don’t care about any of that.”  Castiel’s hopeful eyes returned to yours.  “The only thing I want is you.  None of the rest is important.”

“I believe Dean would argue that sex is very important.”  Castiel replied, and it took you a moment to spot the mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Are you  _teasing_ me?!”  You demanded, surprised and delighted.  Castiel clearly tried to fight the grin that broke out on his face, but utterly failed.

“That’s better,” you observed, your thumb brushing the edge of his smile.  “You deserve to be happy.”  Castiel just stared at you, so many words in his eyes and expression he didn’t need to voice.  Love; so much love for you.  Surprise that you loved him, and cared so much.  He didn’t feel worthy of you, but was so grateful and  _happy_.

“May I make love to you?”  Castiel asked, the gaze trained on you going dark with lust.

“Please,” you replied, biting your lip as you felt competing surges of lust and love for Castiel.  Castiel stared hungrily at your mouth, growling in a way that made you whimper.  He lunged forward, surprising you, and went straight for your neck.  He started with little kisses, graduating to nips and intent sucking.  His arms tightened around you, pinning you close to him as his mouth explored every inch of your neck.  You writhed helplessly against his hold, whimpering  his name and clawing at every available part of him you could reach.  The stubble decorating his jaw grazed against your skin, rough and wonderful, driving you out of your mind with need.

“Cas,” you whined at him.  “Need to touch you.”  Castiel chuckled into your neck, the noise starting deep in his chest.  Hearing him felt so different with his mouth so much closer to you.  With  _him_ so much closer to you.

“Hmmmm.”  Castiel hummed, his tongue darting out to taste more of you, followed swiftly by his lips. The pleasure was overwhelming.  “I am enjoying our current position.  You writhing and moaning in my arms is very arousing.”  Castiel buried his face in the crook of your neck then, his ministrations on your most sensitive spot ridding all thought from your mind as jolts of pleasure took over your body.  His arms, like an iron cage, held no give at all against your wiggling.

You barely noticed the soft flutter of wings, nor all your clothes disappearing.  Castiel released you then, dizzy and lightheaded from this celestial being.  Castiel moved, his angelic strength effortlessly moving you down on the bed on your back, and settling himself above you; his legs wedged between yours.  His expression tugged equally on your heartstrings and the wet heat between your legs.  He looked almost  _lost_ , disbelieving that this was actually happening to him.  At the same time, he looked predatory, powerful and dangerous.  You grew wetter at the latter, unspeakably aroused by how much more than human Castiel was. He clearly loved what he saw as he hovered above you.

That was probably something you should be a little ashamed of.  However, with Castiel looking at you like you came in angel-safe flavors, shame wasn’t an emotion you could summon at the moment.

“I won’t hurt you.  I could never hurt you.”  Castiel murmured, his eyes sparkling with pure love.

“I know.”  You replied.  “I trust you.”  Castiel smiled at you, warmed by your love and acceptance of him, silently vowing to return it all to you in kind.  His eyes roamed down your body, reveling in your naked form with a hunger that flattered you and filled you with a need for his skin against yours.  You reached up and tugged at his trenchcoat, giving him a pleading look.

“Take this off already!”  You tried to plead with him, but laughter took over your voice and you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face.  Castiel smiled back at you, warmed by your good mood.  You heard his wings flutter again, and his clothes disappeared.

You had a single moment for your eyes to explore all that bare skin before he was moving again. He drew one nipple into his mouth, using his hand to toy with the other, and began sucking and nibbling until you were whimpering beneath him. You buried your hands in his hair, nearly drowning in bliss, when you glanced down to see blue eyes wide and fixed on you, thoroughly enjoying your reactions. He moaned around your nipple when your eyes met, the vibrations causing you to throw your head back onto the pillows. As it was, you could barely handle the way his mouth and hands easily coaxed the moans and mewls from you, holding his gaze would’ve completely leveled you.

Finally, you weren’t sure how much later, Castiel released your breasts, delivering a parting lick to one before roaming down your belly, leaving a trail of hickeys, until he was crouched between your legs.

“Cas,” you murmured, your breath catching in anticipation at the sight of him hovering at the apex of your thighs.  After a moment, Castiel reluctantly broke eye contact with you and dropped his gaze down to your dripping pussy.  He let out a groan that you nearly  _felt_ , lunging forward to lick up your outer folds.

“Oh!”  You cried, dropping your hands down to the mattress, clenching the sheets tightly in your fists and arching into him.  You felt his hands grasp your hips tightly, holding you in place, and he began to ravage you.

Castiel moved painfully slowly as his mouth explored your outer folds first, licking every inch of them before pulling them into his mouth and sucking gently until you were crying out.  When his tongue  _finally_ thrust into you, you cried his name in relief, your insides trying to clench around him.  Castiel moaned, vibrating your parts and drawing the coil of pleasure in you tighter.

 _So wet_ , Castiel’s voice murmured in your mind.   _Dripping wet.  All for me?_   Arousal filled his mental voice, almost clouding the surprised tone within his question.

“You.”  You tried to answer; Castiel had just found your clit, and was slowly circling it with deadly precision, making speech almost impossible.  “Only you, Caaaaaaas!”  His grace settled over you like a blanket.  Little tendrils attached themselves to different parts of your body, sending shocks of pleasure through you.  You tried to thrash, no longer able to think with his grace caressing sensitive spots you didn’t know you had, and his mouth licking and sucking at your pussy; but his grace restrained you completely, leaving you no room for movement outside of little twitches that accomplished nothing.  The strength of his grace’s restraint sent a new flush of arousal through you, and you gasped as you felt yourself hurtling closer to the edge.  Castiel made an eager noise below you, and pressed his face closer into you.  It felt like he wedged a finger into you, although it could have been more of his grace.  The additional pressure was more than you could handle, and you quickly found yourself coming with a scream of his name,

You felt Castiel’s hands slide beneath your ass, lifting your pelvis as his rough tongue swept your insides, seeking every drop of pleasure you gave and you spasmed helplessly in front of him.  His presence was in your mind, cooing love for you and praising how good you tasted, and how delicious you looked right now.  His tongue and grace continued inside of you, thrusting and coaxing your orgasm out as long as he could, until your muscles stopped fighting his restraints and you collapsed back to the bed, in a panting heap.

The feel of Castiel’s hands and mouth vanished from your pelvis, and moments later he appeared above you, resting his weight on one bended arm planted on the mattress next to you.  He leaned down and kissed you gently, drawing another whimper from you.

“So beautiful.”  Castiel murmured, his lips inches from yours.  “Watching you orgasm because of me was very stimulating.”

“Where did you learn how to do that?”  You heaved, still trying to find your breath.  

Castiel just smirked at you.  He twitched slightly, and you felt his cockhead brush your folds.  You gasped, and Castiel took your open mouth as an invitation to kiss you again.  You lifted your arms, finding his earlier grace-fueled restraint gone, and wrapped them around his shoulders.  It took more effort to lift your legs, your muscles exhausted, but you did; wrapping them tightly around his hips, digging your heels into his ass in a wordless plea.  Castiel growled into your mouth, and easily hilted in you with one swift thrust.  You broke the kiss, dropping your head back to the pillow and cried his name softly.  Castiel dropped his head to your collarbone, making a soft “nnnggg” sound against your skin that made you clench tighter around him.  Castiel bit you lightly at the sensation, his hips giving small thrusts that had you both gasping in no time.  He lifted his head moments later, the blue eyes filled with a fierce passion that stole your breath.

“Mine.”  Castiel growled, need making him almost feral, and he started thrusting.

All you could do was hold on to him for dear life as his hips snapped forcefully into yours, rocking the bed into the wall. His stubble scraped deliciously against your skin as he delivered occasional nips and sucks to your neck, adding to the twisting coil of pleasure building within you.

You felt his grace stroke just below your belly lightly, making you gasp and flinch, tilting your hips up just in time for one of his powerful thrusts, burying him even deeper inside you and making you both cry out.  Castiel’s grace wrapped around your hips, holding them at that angle, allowing him to continue drilling into your oversensitive pussy. You dug your nails into his back, perilously close to the edge again.  Castiel bit just behind your ear and sucked hard at the sensitive spot.  You cried out and came, spasming underneath him and yelling yourself almost hoarse.  The lights began flickering around you, and Castiel groaned something in what might have been Enochian before his cock twitched and swelled inside of you, your orgasm pulling him down with you.  His cock brushed your gspot, reigniting your slowly dying orgasm.  Just when you thought you couldn’t take being catapulted off the proverbial cliff one more time, here you were.  A full blown angel addict chasing the kind of pleasure only he could give you.  It was a thousand times better than the most powerful vibrator, and ten thousand times more precise. You could practically feel him smirk above you and you knew he had heard those thoughts.

Your orgasms eventually died, and you both collapsed in a happy pile on the bed, the weight of your angel above you soothing.  Neither of you moved for a few moments, just enjoying each other’s closeness and trying to catch your breath.  Unsurprisingly, Castiel recovered first.  He slowly pulled himself out of you, and rolled off of you to lay on his side next to you.  Castiel hesitated a moment, before pulling your limp and exhausted body into his arms and spooning you.  His face nuzzled into your hair just behind your ear, and you made a little happy noise at the contented feeling of him cuddling you.  You slowly drifted back to sleep, confident that you’d be free from nightmares as long as he was near.


End file.
